His 21st!

Well his 21st birthday came and went on February 22nd. I had told myself that if I didnt hear from him I would put out a new missing persons report. My gut pushed me to do it. I week later I got a phone call from him. Long story short the status hasnt changed. Still chooses to live the life of a vagabond and call no where home. Still messing around with drugs at this time, opiates. Great!!! I lost it. I told him my greatest fear. My greatest fear is that he will some how wind up in a morgue somewhere, no one knowing who he is or that he has family looking for him. Either from a drug overdose, bad drugs, someone beats or shoots him or he gets run down hitchhiking on the highway. I told him, " I dont mean to give you a guilt trip but this is what I live with every day." I have to say, it felt good to get that off my chest....even if it did fall on deaf ears.

We made plans too possibly catch up with one another when I am up that way for business in a few weeks. I tried to reach him today to confirm and no big surprise was not able to reach him. I will give it until tomorrow and then I make my plans without him.

It has been three years since I have seen my son. I hate to admit it but I am not sure I would recognize him if I saw him. I never dreamed this would be the relationship I would have with one of my children. Hopefully he makes it to 22.